


Discord is a cursed place

by DingyAntelope58



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character of Color, Bisexual Male Character, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, Humour, Multi, Texting, These children need therapy, Trans Male Peter Parker, glg, my first fic on ao3, none of them are straight, peter parker runs a stony blog on tumblr, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23541124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DingyAntelope58/pseuds/DingyAntelope58
Summary: Dysphoric_Pepperoni: I just saw Tony Stark walk into a chair because his crush smiled at himCrackhead-werewolf: whatSlothBaby: you saw WHOAV_Club_President: excuse me what the fuckPeter Parker decides to fuck around on tumblr and finds some friends with big similarities and even bigger differences.The discord link is entirely open, and you are free to add any friends you want. Also I will end up using it for inspiration.
Relationships: Chase Stein/Gertrude Yorkes, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dysphoric_Pepperoni is Peter Parker. He is admin of the server. His deadname is Philippa and DON'T USE IT.
> 
> Crackhead-werewolf is Harley Keener. He was infected with the big gay.
> 
> SlothBaby is Kamala Khan. She is bi-curious but her parents aren't the most accepting folks.
> 
> AV_Club_President is Alex Wilder. He is not straight and has a huge fanboy crush on Shuri. That's all he really knows about anything.
> 
> STEMprincess is Shuri. She rules.

Friday nights were the best nights by default. Heaps of patrol time, relaxing and a weekend to look forward too. Peter yawned loudly as he flopped into his comfortable study chair, carelessly running a hand through his already frizzy hair. His small apartment overlooked a small alley in Chinatown, and while it wasn't a penthouse, he did appreciate the gift from Mr Stark. While nursing a bruised wrist from fight earlier that day, he opened his laptop and logged onto his Tumblr. With a glance he checked his small ficlet of Tony Stark crushing on Steve Rogers (more like a report on real events than any fanfiction but that’s an unimportant detail) and saw that someone called _SlothBaby_ had reblogged it. He went to their page and gasped loudly. They were hugely popular and wrote incredibly good stories about the Avengers, so he decided to privately message them.

 **StarkisPansexual:** hey sloth baby, I really appreciate you spreading my stuff and im glad you enjoyed my work

He decided to keep looking around, answering some messages and writing two paragraphs of his Spider-Mom fic before he got a reply.

 **_SlothBaby_:** That’s fine, it was really hilarious. How did you write their characters so well? It’s hard to develop a personality for them when there’s so little to build with.

Peter froze slightly in panic, staring at the screen with wide eyes. He decided to make up a simple white lie. Easy way to escape this awkward situation.

 **StarkisPansexual:** i work at the compound. i help mr stark design avengers tech, and i also do heaps of spiderman stuff. i get to talk to them a bit, and theyre really fun to hang around with

Peter let out a slightly anxious but relieved breath. _Dodged the bullet there_ he thought,

_ **SlothBaby_:** Oh that’s really cool!

 **StarkisPansexual:** hey do u have discord?

Peter waited a few seconds for the answer as he continued scrolling.

 **_SlothBaby_:** Yeah, why do you ask?

Peter thought for a moment before typing out a reply.

 **StarkisPansexual:** i dunno, i miss being in crazy group chats and i want to make one with not annoying people

 **_SlothBaby_:** That’s a mood

Peter smiled and went to Discord, opening a new server. He decided to name the group Not-Annoying-People and set the link to last forever before sending it to Sloth Baby

 **StarkisPansexual:** <https://discord.gg/rZBgVvJ> here, send it to as many people as you want as long as theyre chill

 **_SlothBaby_:** Sweet, thank you.

 **StarkisPansexual:** :)

Peter woke up a few hours later to several insistent beeps from his phone, sitting up and squinting at the device, he crawled over to it. Opening the phone he saw 14 notifications from Discord and groaned.

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni:** guys it’s literally 2 am

 **AV_Club_President:** 1\. Who even are u 2. Who is even asleep at 2am

 **SlothBaby:** People who have school the next day.

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni:** or work. my boss is gonna tell me off again for not getting sleep

 **Crackhead-werewolf:** who the fuck is you

 **SlothBaby:** Language.

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni:** I understood that reference

 **SlothBaby:** … what reference?

 **AV_Club_President:** I have work AND school and I don’t sleep

 **Crackhead-werewolf:** then you’re probably a weeb and like Judy Hops

 **AV_Club_President:** judy hops is cool I guess but Nick is fine 10/10 would smash

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni:** what the fuck

 **SlothBaby:** LANGUAGE

 **Crackhead-werewolf:** yeah pepperoni, no swearing in our Christian minecraft server

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni** : im being real, who are you 2

 **AV_Club_President** : my name is alex I use he/him pronouns and im not straight and that’s all I know about anything

 **Crackhead-werewolf** : Im Harley. met tony stark once and threatened to shoot him with a potato gun. He then gave me a weaponised flare to use on bullies, destroyed half my town and paid for my shed to get rebuilt.

 **SlothBaby** : omg he what

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni** : I walked into my apartment and Mr Stark was sitting on the couch flirting with my aunt and eating walnut loaf.

 **AV_Club_President** : lmao imagine not-living in la and actually being able to meet tony stark

 **SlothBaby** : Doesn’t LA have Hollywood? Have you ever seen a famous actor?

 **AV_Club_President** : I see Frank Dean every few weeks cause my parents know him and I met Nicolas Cage (who was wearing a university of Edinburgh shirt and sweatpants) at a seven eleven

 **SlothBaby** : You guys are friggin’ lucky.  
I live in Jersey City and the most interesting thing here is Ms Marvel.

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni** : oh shes cool! I work for mr stark and hes annoyed with her because he really wants to hire her but she keeps refusing because of family

 **SlothBaby** : maybe she has a really good reason to refuse? Maybe she has all these responsibilities in her civilian life that mean she can’t move to Upstate New York?

 **Crackhead-werewolf** : …

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni** : spiderman had heaps of responsibility too, he needs to make sure he uses it wisely. the avengers help him focus that, and they get him the technology he needs to fight crime more safely and efficiently. tony really does help him balance out his personal, his school and his spiderman/work life.

 **AV_Club_President** : oh my god

 **SlothBaby** : Maybe her family doesn’t approve of her lifestyle and crime-fighting, maybe she feels responsible for making sure the people in her community are safe from threats people like the Avengers can’t deal with.

 **Dysphoric_Pepperoni** : omg we’re so dumb

 **SlothBaby** : After rereading those messages I think I’m gonna scream.

 **GoldenHairedMechanic** : Y’all the dumbest people I’ve ever met

 **AV_Club_President** : My friends next week: what did you do on the weekend, Alex? Me: I discovered I’m in a discord server with two superheroes  
JK I don’t have friends


	2. The PRIDE kids chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is before the events of Runaways and it is complete and utter nonsense. Also Chase has a meme for every situation and he bestowed this knowledge onto Karolina.

**Alex is a furry**

**furry** : it’s been 6 months and I think we should change the server name

**cat-in-the-hat** : stfu furry

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : No swearing molly

**lacrosse** : who gave us all the stupid names again

**goth-gf** : shockingly, it wasn’t me

**rainbow-Smirnoff** : I don’t even get mine

**furry** : can I ask why im a furry tho?

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : [has sent screenshot. It clearly shows Alex having said “ngl nick wilde from zootopia is hot, 10/10 would smash” and the horrified reply of “Alex what the actual fuck” beneath]

**furry** : that could be photo shopped

**cat-in-the-hat** : Alex you’re a furry just accept it

**lacrosse** : [it's the nickering seductively meme from Spirit just search it]

**goth-gf** : do you just fucking have that in your photos

**lacrosse** : ever since we found out Alex is a furry

**furry** : I’M NOT A FUCKING FURRY  
I’M JUST GAY FOR NICK WILDE

**goth-gf** : Alex he’s a fox. He is an anthropomorphic animal you admitted you’d fuck.

**rainbow-Smirnoff** : Alex  
The council has decided your fate

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : you’re a furry

**furry** : STOP CALLING ME A FURRY

**lacrosse** : [it's the meme where Tom is pointing at something off camera and two other cats are marching towards it. the caption says "when you find the furry at school so you send all your weeb friends to destroy them"]

**cat-in-the-hat** : weeb Gert vs furry Alex  
the final showdown  
the greatest battle of the century

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : I’m not a weeb though?

**cat-in-the-hat** : false. it was Christmas but because we were snowed in you had nothing to do. so you watched all of avatar on Netflix. and then you found crunchie roll. and now at 2am I can hear the intro for Cowboy Bebop every 20 min.  
you’re a weaboo

**rainbow-Smirnoff** : wow. Way to out gert

**furry** : why is being a weaboo more acceptable than being a furry

**lacrosse** : SO YOU ADMIT IT

**furry** : I DON’T

**cat-in-the-hat** : cause weebs don’t want to fuck animals

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : furries are fucking weird Alex.

**rainbow-Smirnoff** : that’s the tea sis.

**i_am_the_senate** : you guys are all assholes and I changed my name

**furry** : WHO FUCKING CHANGED IT BACK

~~~

**lacrosse** : lmao heteros make me even more depressed

**goth-gf** : oh no

**lacrosse** : so you know how Lina came out as asexual last week?

**goth-gf** : what about it

**lacrosse** : this fuckboy on the lacrosse team was like “I’m gonna get her to have sex with me”   
and I went “[redacted] she’s asexual you idiot” and he kept going “I’m gonna meet her at the corner of her street” and even the other hetero fuckboys got tired of it

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : oh no

**lacrosse** : [redacted] fuckboy just walked into training with a crooked nose and bruised face

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : legendary

**lacrosse** : im gonna find her today and tell her she had a really nice punch

**goth-gf** : bi boys + asexual girls is the perfect brotp


	3. the mischievous b i r b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert got a birb, Chase can't name cats and Alex is still a goddam furry + tumblr ironstrange and/or normal shitposts but the gang instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE  
> LIKE  
> A WHOLE FUCKING ALEX/CHASE FIC. AND  
> MICROSOFT  
> WORD  
> CRASHED?!?  
> I'M   
> SO   
> PISSED  
> BECAUSE I'D LIKE HAMMERED IT OUT IN ONE DAY SO I HADN'T SAVED IT YET  
> AND NOW IT'S  
> JUST   
> G O N E.  
> I SEARCHED THROUGH UNSAVED DOCUMENTS AND COULDN'T FIND IT.  
> Anyway I need a new computer and our small-brained teachers keep telling us that we should be getting extra work so Ms [REDACTED] and our Literature teacher Mr [REDACTED] are checking our wellbeing every session, talking to the other teachers and giving us extra extensions because they are the best.

**Pansexual-tumblr-blog** :

  
  
I have birb

 **goth-gf** : why did you get a birb

 **lacrosse** : where did u get the birb

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : why is the birb sticking its head in a cup?

 **furry** : WHY AM I STILL CALLED FURRY

 **Pansexual-tumblr-blog** : I got a birb because I wanted to, I got her from a rescue shelter because someone illegally smuggled her into the us, she’s sticking her head in a mug because the mug is the same kind of birb as her and Alex you need to accept your furry status

 **cat-in-a-hat** :

  
is that the same kinda birb as this one? “The **sulphur-crested cockatoo** ( _Cacatua galerita_ ) is a relatively large white cockatoo found in wooded habitats in Australia, and New Guinea and some of the islands of Indonesia. They can be locally very numerous, leading to them sometimes being considered pests. A highly intelligent bird, they are well known in aviculture, although they can be demanding pets”

_Pansexual-tumblr-blog changed their name to birb-enthusiast_

**birb-enthusiast** : that’s the same birb.

 **cat-in-the-hat** : it says on wiki “Sulphur-crested cockatoos' distinctive raucous calls can be very loud” your birb better not annoy me

 **birb-enthusiast** : haha the nice shelter worker said they scream the most in the early morning, from 5 to 7 am

 **cat-in-the-hat** : what the actual fuck gert

 **goth-gf** : watch your language

 **cat-in-the-hat** : no

 **lacrosse** : I have to agree with molly here gert, that was pretty dumb

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : think of your new birb as an organic and environmentally-friendly alarm clock

 **birb-enthusiast** : thank you Karolina, at least someone here respects my birb. They’re also super-smart, so I’m gonna teach her to copy my voice and do tricks.

 **furry** : that’s cool I guess

 **birb-enthusiast** : stfu furry

 **furry** : >:( stahp

 **goth-gf** : I coulda dropped mah croissant!

 **cat-in-the-hat** : it’s an Australian birb, maybe it’s gonna kill you in it’s sleep

 **lacrosse** : of course Australia has the birbs that scream at 5am

 **cat-in-the-hat** :

found out how it’s gonna kill you

 **goth-gf** : why did evolution glue fucking combat knives to it’s feet???

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : im never going to sleep again knowing Gert owns a bird like that

 **birb-enthusiast** :

I could have got its cousin the palm cockatoo

 **lacrosse** : that isn’t a bird

 **goth-gf** : that is an omen of death

 **furry** : is that Australian?!

 **birb-enthusiast** : of course

 **cat-in-the-hat** : I never want to go on holiday there…

 **birb-enthusiast** :

See? Old Lace is just a cuddly little birb, she wouldn’t hurt a fly

 **lacrosse** : Why did you name her Old Lace? That’s a stupid name.

 **goth-gf** : stfu chase your cat is called rolls Royce it’s the dumbest name ever

 **lacrosse** : 

RR is a beautiful cat named after a beautiful car

 **birb-enthusiast** : looks more like rum and raisins to me

 **lacrosse** : YOU DON’T GET IT

HE IS FAST, GOLD AND BLACK, AND AS IMPORTANT AS THE CAR

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : you both should lose pet-naming privileges

 **birb-enthusiast** : I named my pet after an influential piece of classical literature and he named his after a machine from the 70s

 **lacrosse** : THE ROLLS ROYCE SILVER SHADOW ISN’T JUST A MACHINE IT IS A MASTERFUL EXAMPLE OF AMERICAN ENGINEERING

 **cat-in-the-hat** : we get it chase you like cars

 **furry** : im changing my name

_furry changed their name to the-high-ground_

**the-high-ground** : don’t change it

_the-high-ground changed the server name to can’t-name-their-pets_

**goth-gf** : fine you can stay but you’re still a fury

 **the-high-ground** : why am I accused of being a furry? Molly has cat in her username

 **cat-in-the-hat** : cause I’ve got my pink cat hat idiot

 **goth-gf** : alex you watch beastars and stan severus snape you’re a furry

 **the-high-ground** : What does snape have to do with furries

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : only furries think snape was a good person

 **the-high-ground** : HE JUST WANTED TO LOVE, YOU GUYS ACT LIKE HE’S A DISGUSTING MONSTER FOR WANTING TO LOVE

 **birb-enthusiast** : it’s back to this stupid debATE SNAPE WAS A TERRIBLE PERSON, HE ABUSED CHILDREN

 **lacrosse** : please have this argument in your own dms

 **goth-gf** : please

 **cat-in-the-hat** : please

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : please

 **the-high-ground** : f i n e

~

 **cat-in-the-hat** : u know gert’s birb

 **lacrosse** : ye   
what about it

 **cat-in-the-hat** : she stole dale’s car keys and is standing on top of the kitchen cabinets with the keys laughing at him

 **goth-gf** : w h y???

 **birb-enthusiast** : before you accuse me of teaching her to steal his car keys, I actually taught her to steal mum’s keys, so it’s not my fault

 **the-high-ground** : that bird reached megamind status

 **cat-in-the-hat** : FUCKING PALE ASS CHICKEN  
IT STOLE MY BRACELET

 **birb-enthusiast** : I turned my cockatoo into a magpie lmao

 **lacrosse** : how do you train a bird

 **birb-enthusiast** : treats, patience, a few weeks, a timetable for training sessions, an empty room and effort

 **cat-in-the-hat** : she spent days teaching that bird to say “I’m a very naughty birb” and to steal anything silver and bring it to her

 **goth-gf** : I admire the effort to be that petty but why

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : that sounds like way too much effort

 **birb-enthusiast** : I enjoy the simple things in life, like using my megamind bird to annoy my family :) 

**rainbow-Smirnoff** : true, gert is a simple woman on the inside

~~

 **the-high-ground** : if the moon is made of cheese and Saturn is six, how many pancakes could you eat in Venezuela?

 **cat-in-the-hat** : yellow

 **birb-enthusiast** : the correct answer is packing peanuts

 **lacrosse** : oh I see, because you carry the two and-

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : What is WRONG with you people?

~~

 **the-high-ground** : sexting via postcard is a heckin thicc flex on the lost souls of the postal service henceforth I think we should indulge in it

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : congratulations there are many words that should not go together and you just found all of them

~~

 **the-high-ground** : I am [sexual orientation] and that’s why I [predictive text]

 **lacrosse** : I am bisexual and that’s why I get changed in my own stall after lacrosse games

 **birb-enthusiast** : I am pansexual and that’s why I am the best cook in the house

 **cat-in-the-hat** : I am bisexual and that’s why I watch WNBA

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : I am a lesbian and that’s why I can drink cheap vodka straight from the bottle

 **goth-gf** : I am bisexual and that’s why I steal my girlfriend’s flannels

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : THAT WAS YOU?

 **the-high-ground** : … you better run nico

~~

 **lacrosse** : name one thing you want to try in the bedroom

 **birb-enthusiast** : getting 8 hours of sleep

~~

 **the-high-ground** : Hewwo! I will be youw surgeon today? Intwenal bweeding you say? Let’s make ouw fiwst wittle incision.

 **cat-in-the-hat** : dowcto, wew’re losing him!

 **the-high-ground** : Qwick, hand me the defibwiwatow!

 **goth-gf** : please, just turn off my fucking life support

~~

 **the-high-ground** : the doctor said I need more iron in my diet

 **birb-enthusiast** : I’d recommend vegetables and red meat

 **the-high-ground** : cool gonna go eat some razor blades

 **birb-enthusiast** : DON’T

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : this server scares me can I leave?

~~

 **cat-in-the-hat** :   
it’s ok to be gay.  
it’s ok to be straight.  
it’s ok to be black.  
it’s ok to be white.  
it’s ok to be lesbian.  
it’s ok to be bisexual.  
it’s ok to be religious.  
it’s ok to be foreign.  
However, it’s never ok to disrespect Minecraft.

 **the-high-ground** : this is why Molly is my favourite

 **cat-in-the-hat** : thank you Alex

~~

 **cat-in-the-hat** :  
Nico and Karolina: *both reach for the last chicken nugget at the same time and their fingers touch* *looks into each other’s eyes* [this magic moment plays]  
Gert and Chase: * both reach for the last chicken nugget at the same time*  
Gert: get the fuck off my chicken nugget

 **birb-enthusiast** : I’m a vegan

 **cat-in-the-hat** : ugh just respect the meme

 **birb-enthusiast** : no

 **cat-in-the-hat** : *angry noises*

~~

 **lacrosse** : “Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”   
-Steve Buscemi’s character in Spy Kids 2

 **goth-gf** : “If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have”   
-Shadow the Hedgehog

 **the-high-ground** : “I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me”  
-Joshua Graham, a Fallout New Vegas NPC

~~

 **lacrosse** : *climbs inside a body bag and zips it up over myself* naptime

 **bird-enthusiast** : what.

 **goth-gf** : mood

~~

 **goth-gf** : two words. 14 letters. Say it, and im yours.

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : LEMON CARDBOARD.

 **cat-in-the-hat** : *wipes away tears* so this is what true love looks like.

~~

 **birb-enthusiast** : what does Karolina do in here

 **lacrosse** : what do you mean?

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : did I do something wrong?

 **cat-in-the-hat** : Gert has a point, you like never talk or respond to anything here but you see everything

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : I don’t speak but I have hundreds of screenshots of sleep-deprived Alex quotes and drunk Chase texts

 **lacrosse** : YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT

 **the-high-ground** : ahhhhhh im fucked :)

 **goth-gf** : ha  
suck it boys, my girlfriend now has blackmail

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : Alex, do anything wrong again and I will send your the 3 am practice texts for asking Livvie out to her. The ones you posted to this server

 **the-high-ground** : YOU WOULDN’T

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : I FUCKING WOULD

 **lacrosse** : alex was right we are fucked :)

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : consider this a warning

 **birb-enthusiast** : that was inspiring

 **rainbow-Smirnoff** : *flips hair* I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed, i'm going to release more of my other fic and at least 2 others in the next week.  
> ALSO. I was on Ariela Barer's insta and commented: What do you think of my theory that Gert is pansexual? AND SHE LIKED MY COMMENT!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!


End file.
